Dial M for Monkey
Game Recap:
The powerful Chug Monkey locomotive was full steam ahead as we went on to score two victories back to back for the first time. Chug-a-lug, Chug-a-lug, Chug-a-lug!
Noticeable Absentees:
What was meant to be the first appearance of the Official Chug Monkey “Beer Squad” support group, failed to happen. Not even the promise of Chug Monkeys Dirk and Dan in budgie smugglers was enticing enough. See below for reasons why.
Amanda: Busy – Reason: Crack habit plus grand theft auto
Vesna: Piked - Reason: Rowing practice (at least she should have been!)
Renee: Bailed at the last minute – Reason: I don’t know or care (Nobody breaks the Chug Monkey’s hearts and gets away with it!)
Stunning Debut:
This week saw the debut of the Chug Monkey’s Official Team Mascots:
“Professor Chuggles” and “Little Lugger”. Both sat court side during the match and lead the charge during post match celebrations.
Season Record:
4 Wins 4 Loses
This weeks Official Chug Monkey:
Dr Zaius
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
Hello and welcome to inside the Chug Monkeys. This week Dan gets the low down from Chug Money Jase, plus for our female readers, we’ll give you 5 signs that you’re living with Mr. Right.
Dan: Now Jase, what do you have to say about persistent rumours that you left the court 5 minutes into our first match to get a better view of that hot chick from Vegas All Stars playing on court 4?
Chug Monkey Jase: I take offense to that. My sudden departure was due to a serious medical condition. I’d much rather we chat about team chemistry.
Dan: Yep, I’m sure I saw some chemistry there, like just before halftime I think I made a little eye contact with her.
Chug Monkey Jase: Huh? Well back on volleyball, I’m happy to talk about some of our team’s memorable moments during that match.
Dan: Good luck with that. Now if you want memorable moments lets talk about our mystery girl from court 4. Like when she half glanced at me when she left that night!
Chug Monkey Jase: So that’s what you were bragging about. Wasn’t she holding hands with her BOYFIREND at the time?!!
Dan: I think it’s safer to assume they were brother and sister. Close family, I like that.
Chug Monkey Jase: Leanne did warn me about this. Are we done yet?
Dan: Are we done you ask, hell no! I’m totally asking for mystery girl’s number next week, right after I kick Leanne off the roster to make way for her.
Chug Monkey Jase: You sure have a way with women
(Jase Leaves)
Thanks again Jace for being a beacon of hope in the Chug Monkey’s quest for truth and justice. And remember ladies, if you’re man comes home smelling of another women’s perfume, good news…free perfume!
A Tribute to Dirk:
*** Warning Non-Dan content***
Leanne wanted to post a tribute to Dirk after he played his final match for the Chug Monkeys. Dirk is heading to the UK where the number of beach Volleyball courts is numbered at less than 3, so Dirk is looking to take the competition by storm.
Now I must remind our loyal readers that posts by talent less hacks like Leanne will not be a regular occurrence. However as she gives me a ride to the matches each week, I had little option this time.
A poem: Ode to Dirk
What can I say about Chug Monkey Dirk
Without him our team just doesn’t work
Although it is rare that you give us a set
And you are constantly hitting the f*cking top net
You brought to the game your own special style
Even though you were with us for just a short while
I know this sounds lame
But the Chug Monkeys wont be the same
So we say thanks a bunch
For your patented Super Man punch
And once you’re in the UK
We will need to find a way
To fulfill our dream
And start an international Chug Monkey team.
Fin
***To have Leanne’s content banned for life from all future newsletters please call Leanne directly at work to let her know the suffering she’s caused. It’s the only way she’ll learn***
Bye for now Chug Monkey Dirk
From CMD
Game Recap:
The powerful Chug Monkey locomotive was full steam ahead as we went on to score two victories back to back for the first time. Chug-a-lug, Chug-a-lug, Chug-a-lug!
Noticeable Absentees:
What was meant to be the first appearance of the Official Chug Monkey “Beer Squad” support group, failed to happen. Not even the promise of Chug Monkeys Dirk and Dan in budgie smugglers was enticing enough. See below for reasons why.
Amanda: Busy – Reason: Crack habit plus grand theft auto
Vesna: Piked - Reason: Rowing practice (at least she should have been!)
Renee: Bailed at the last minute – Reason: I don’t know or care (Nobody breaks the Chug Monkey’s hearts and gets away with it!)
Stunning Debut:
This week saw the debut of the Chug Monkey’s Official Team Mascots:
“Professor Chuggles” and “Little Lugger”. Both sat court side during the match and lead the charge during post match celebrations.
Season Record:
4 Wins 4 Loses
This weeks Official Chug Monkey:
Dr Zaius
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
Hello and welcome to inside the Chug Monkeys. This week Dan gets the low down from Chug Money Jase, plus for our female readers, we’ll give you 5 signs that you’re living with Mr. Right.
Dan: Now Jase, what do you have to say about persistent rumours that you left the court 5 minutes into our first match to get a better view of that hot chick from Vegas All Stars playing on court 4?
Chug Monkey Jase: I take offense to that. My sudden departure was due to a serious medical condition. I’d much rather we chat about team chemistry.
Dan: Yep, I’m sure I saw some chemistry there, like just before halftime I think I made a little eye contact with her.
Chug Monkey Jase: Huh? Well back on volleyball, I’m happy to talk about some of our team’s memorable moments during that match.
Dan: Good luck with that. Now if you want memorable moments lets talk about our mystery girl from court 4. Like when she half glanced at me when she left that night!
Chug Monkey Jase: So that’s what you were bragging about. Wasn’t she holding hands with her BOYFIREND at the time?!!
Dan: I think it’s safer to assume they were brother and sister. Close family, I like that.
Chug Monkey Jase: Leanne did warn me about this. Are we done yet?
Dan: Are we done you ask, hell no! I’m totally asking for mystery girl’s number next week, right after I kick Leanne off the roster to make way for her.
Chug Monkey Jase: You sure have a way with women
(Jase Leaves)
Thanks again Jace for being a beacon of hope in the Chug Monkey’s quest for truth and justice. And remember ladies, if you’re man comes home smelling of another women’s perfume, good news…free perfume!
A Tribute to Dirk:
*** Warning Non-Dan content***
Leanne wanted to post a tribute to Dirk after he played his final match for the Chug Monkeys. Dirk is heading to the UK where the number of beach Volleyball courts is numbered at less than 3, so Dirk is looking to take the competition by storm.
Now I must remind our loyal readers that posts by talent less hacks like Leanne will not be a regular occurrence. However as she gives me a ride to the matches each week, I had little option this time.
A poem: Ode to Dirk
What can I say about Chug Monkey Dirk
Without him our team just doesn’t work
Although it is rare that you give us a set
And you are constantly hitting the f*cking top net
You brought to the game your own special style
Even though you were with us for just a short while
I know this sounds lame
But the Chug Monkeys wont be the same
So we say thanks a bunch
For your patented Super Man punch
And once you’re in the UK
We will need to find a way
To fulfill our dream
And start an international Chug Monkey team.
Fin
***To have Leanne’s content banned for life from all future newsletters please call Leanne directly at work to let her know the suffering she’s caused. It’s the only way she’ll learn***
Bye for now Chug Monkey Dirk
From CMD
2 comments:
Hi guys,
Great photo's Dan and your perspective on the team is ... interesting as always.
However, my "Ode to Dirk" was slightly edited from the version I asked Dan to post. See if you can pick the edited line.
Chug Monkey Moose
Blog-a-licious!
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