*** Welcome to this weeks post - Now entirely Poetry free***
This weeks Official Chug Monkey: Donkey Kong Jnr
Game recap:
Game 1:
The Chug Monkeys took to the court with 3 new players and sadly lost narrowly.
Pointing the blame:
This week Gemma was forced to skip town due to pending sexual harassment charges from all male Chug Monkey team mates except Dan. Leanne also deserted her faithful Chug Monkeyers for a national PDA conference in Melbourne (Although she was later thrown out for partaking in unscheduled sneezing).
So at long last Katherine (pictured training hard with Trent) and Emma were able to make their Chug Monkey debuts, which featured a stunning tribute to mediocrity. Never again on my beach the both of you! Matt also made his debut hoping to benefit from a week under Chug Monkey Dan’s wing. Sadly 7 days spent on bean bags watching Scrubs and Curb Your Enthusiasm dvds and being forced to memorize the blog off by heart somehow didn’t translate into volleyball success.
The failure of Trent’s apparent Jedi Mind tricks on the opposition was also cause for concern.
Game 2:
History tells us that there was once great slaughter on the beaches of Galipoli, then again some 30 years later on the sands of Normandy. But both of these combined were nothing compared to the carnage that took place on the beaches of Camden Park during the 2nd match of the evening.. The Chug Monkeys steam rolled their opposition (appropriately named ‘Scrubs’) with a wining margin over 50 points. No one even had to sleep with the referee this time round. Good clean honest fun for the whole family!
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
As part of this month’s theme of “laughing at and not with”, resident bench warmer Dan decided to catch up with Chug Monkey Sean this week. CM Sean was not only a member of the Chug Monkeys first ever win, but also boasts the largest Boy Zone Album collection of anyone on the team. And ladies, he has the tattoo to prove it!
Dan: Now Sean, I’m sure you feel honoured to be in my presence, so let’s move onto some volleyball questions.
Chug Monkey Sean: (Glances at watch)
Dan: Now lets look at some of your most memorable moments so far, like that time you hit a winner when you were running backwards, not even facing the opposition.
Chug Monkey Sean: Umm wasn’t that you?
Dan: No sh*t it was! But let’s relive that time when you served 3 aces in a row to a secure a Chug Monkey Victory…
Chug Monkey Sean: Again you
Dan. Hell yeah! But you don’t see me bragging do you! So I don’t get confused again, how about you tell us your greatest volleyball moment to date.
Chug Monkey Sean: Well it would have to be
(DAN INTERUPTS)
Dan: You’re right, the time I won the point while I was laying on the ground. Yeah that was amazing! I had just dived for the ball and it came straight back so BAM straight to the back of the net. Most people would demand to be carried off the court shoulder high for such an effort, but not me, not me.
Chug Monkey Sean: (Groans) Right I vaguely remember that… now if I may talk about myself for just a moment
(DAN INTERUPTS AGAIN)
Dan: DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM!
Chug Monkey Sean: Dirk had the right idea after all
Dan: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll focus entirely on you now. So a quick question, is it true you once had an affair with Pauline Hanson?
(Sean Leaves)
Dan: I guess my game can be overly intimidating at times… DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM!
(5 Hours later)
Dan: DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM!
I’m sure many of you gave up time from your families or TV sets to read this, in which case now would be a good time to pick up the phone and seek help. Or simply tune in next week for more wisdom from ‘Inside the Chug Monkeys’. It’ll be just like Dr Phil, except we’ll tackle life’s big challenges with a slightly less goofy accent.
A new initiative: THE HUG MONKEYS
Chug Monkey Dan has decided that he not only wants to be role model on the court, but also a moral benchmark for his troubled & talent less teammates off the court. Therefore each win this season will not only add another pub onto the end of season night of nights, but also the good natured half of Chug Monkey Dan’s personality (who we’ll now refer to separately as Hug Monkey Dan) will make a purchase from Tear Australia’s ‘Worlds Most Useful Gift Catalogue’. The catalogue allows you to purchase various gifts for people in developing countries. Each donation forms part of a long-term development project that enables some of the poorest people in the world to create real and lasting change in their lives.
So each win = a $5 children’s school kit purchase from Hug Monkey Dan
This gift covers the cost of workbooks, exercise books, pencils and paper, or slate and chalk for a child in a community primary school.
Anyone else interested in this initiative can follow the link below or better yet if we have enough people interested the Chug Monkeys could start some kind of rotation system, or even get our own World Vision sponsor child. So for those keen to get involved please email Hug Monkey Dan and visit http://www.usefulgifts.org/
So although your skills may stink like monkey crap out on the volleyball court, you can still be a Hug Monkey and make a difference else where. And remember after each Chug Monkey Victory, there’s a chance you may receive an additional surprise in your inbox the next morning from Hug Monkey Dan.
This weeks Official Chug Monkey: Donkey Kong Jnr
Game recap:
Game 1:
The Chug Monkeys took to the court with 3 new players and sadly lost narrowly.
Pointing the blame:
This week Gemma was forced to skip town due to pending sexual harassment charges from all male Chug Monkey team mates except Dan. Leanne also deserted her faithful Chug Monkeyers for a national PDA conference in Melbourne (Although she was later thrown out for partaking in unscheduled sneezing).
So at long last Katherine (pictured training hard with Trent) and Emma were able to make their Chug Monkey debuts, which featured a stunning tribute to mediocrity. Never again on my beach the both of you! Matt also made his debut hoping to benefit from a week under Chug Monkey Dan’s wing. Sadly 7 days spent on bean bags watching Scrubs and Curb Your Enthusiasm dvds and being forced to memorize the blog off by heart somehow didn’t translate into volleyball success.
The failure of Trent’s apparent Jedi Mind tricks on the opposition was also cause for concern.
Game 2:
History tells us that there was once great slaughter on the beaches of Galipoli, then again some 30 years later on the sands of Normandy. But both of these combined were nothing compared to the carnage that took place on the beaches of Camden Park during the 2nd match of the evening.. The Chug Monkeys steam rolled their opposition (appropriately named ‘Scrubs’) with a wining margin over 50 points. No one even had to sleep with the referee this time round. Good clean honest fun for the whole family!
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
As part of this month’s theme of “laughing at and not with”, resident bench warmer Dan decided to catch up with Chug Monkey Sean this week. CM Sean was not only a member of the Chug Monkeys first ever win, but also boasts the largest Boy Zone Album collection of anyone on the team. And ladies, he has the tattoo to prove it!
Dan: Now Sean, I’m sure you feel honoured to be in my presence, so let’s move onto some volleyball questions.
Chug Monkey Sean: (Glances at watch)
Dan: Now lets look at some of your most memorable moments so far, like that time you hit a winner when you were running backwards, not even facing the opposition.
Chug Monkey Sean: Umm wasn’t that you?
Dan: No sh*t it was! But let’s relive that time when you served 3 aces in a row to a secure a Chug Monkey Victory…
Chug Monkey Sean: Again you
Dan. Hell yeah! But you don’t see me bragging do you! So I don’t get confused again, how about you tell us your greatest volleyball moment to date.
Chug Monkey Sean: Well it would have to be
(DAN INTERUPTS)
Dan: You’re right, the time I won the point while I was laying on the ground. Yeah that was amazing! I had just dived for the ball and it came straight back so BAM straight to the back of the net. Most people would demand to be carried off the court shoulder high for such an effort, but not me, not me.
Chug Monkey Sean: (Groans) Right I vaguely remember that… now if I may talk about myself for just a moment
(DAN INTERUPTS AGAIN)
Dan: DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM!
Chug Monkey Sean: Dirk had the right idea after all
Dan: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll focus entirely on you now. So a quick question, is it true you once had an affair with Pauline Hanson?
(Sean Leaves)
Dan: I guess my game can be overly intimidating at times… DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM!
(5 Hours later)
Dan: DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM! DAN SLAM!
I’m sure many of you gave up time from your families or TV sets to read this, in which case now would be a good time to pick up the phone and seek help. Or simply tune in next week for more wisdom from ‘Inside the Chug Monkeys’. It’ll be just like Dr Phil, except we’ll tackle life’s big challenges with a slightly less goofy accent.
A new initiative: THE HUG MONKEYS
Chug Monkey Dan has decided that he not only wants to be role model on the court, but also a moral benchmark for his troubled & talent less teammates off the court. Therefore each win this season will not only add another pub onto the end of season night of nights, but also the good natured half of Chug Monkey Dan’s personality (who we’ll now refer to separately as Hug Monkey Dan) will make a purchase from Tear Australia’s ‘Worlds Most Useful Gift Catalogue’. The catalogue allows you to purchase various gifts for people in developing countries. Each donation forms part of a long-term development project that enables some of the poorest people in the world to create real and lasting change in their lives.
So each win = a $5 children’s school kit purchase from Hug Monkey Dan
This gift covers the cost of workbooks, exercise books, pencils and paper, or slate and chalk for a child in a community primary school.
Anyone else interested in this initiative can follow the link below or better yet if we have enough people interested the Chug Monkeys could start some kind of rotation system, or even get our own World Vision sponsor child. So for those keen to get involved please email Hug Monkey Dan and visit http://www.usefulgifts.org/
So although your skills may stink like monkey crap out on the volleyball court, you can still be a Hug Monkey and make a difference else where. And remember after each Chug Monkey Victory, there’s a chance you may receive an additional surprise in your inbox the next morning from Hug Monkey Dan.
4 comments:
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pIp PiP.
K7
Deat KT,
please put down the crack pipe before typing. And that goes for the rest of you!
CH DAN,
Kt is typing in hack!!.
Unlike your hack.
His makes sence!!
CH Gem
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