How about them Chug Monkeys

This week our opponents decided to resort to biological warfare to fend off the Chug Monkey’s charge to the finals. So with Moose and CM Dan struck down with illness, and since we couldn’t find a 2nd chick to play, the door opened for project Andrew (not to be confused with Wingman Bruce) to make his long awaited debut.
Since no one sent me a written game recap, what’s written below is based on the two different points of view of Chug Monkey Trent and Project Andrew from post game telephone conversations.

Game 1: Chug Monkeys versus Sucked at Soccer:

Trent’s POV: With our new look team this week, I was a bit nervous, probably because that Andrew stinks it up every Sunday and he was somehow allowed to play. None the less we were able to cover for his incompetence in a close encounter with a solid team effort. But seriously my back is sore after carrying Andrew through the entire the match!

Andrew’s POV: Well it was great to finally get a run. I must say it was well over due! I mean I see the way Trent stinks it up every Sunday on Dan’s beach and I think the Chug Monkeys must be a charity since he keeps getting gifted games. I was a little nervous during the game, mostly because of what I heard Trent did to Gemma’s face last week. I mean when the guy hits the ball, it’s like being in a pin ball machine with a retard behind the flippers. I’m married so I can afford a hit to the face, actually it may very well be an improvement, but bachelor types like Dan need to be protected; otherwise he’ll never totally pick up the hot chick from court 4. None the less we were able to cover for Trent’s incompetence in a close encounter with a solid team effort. But seriously my back is sore after carrying Trent through the entire the match!

Approximate Final Score: 44-28

Game 1: Chug Monkeys versus Sand Gropers:

Trent’s POV: Despite my lingering back soreness, I was still able to pull it together this match. Our opponents didn’t have any chicks on their team, but we still made them look like a bunch of school girls. Having said that maybe Andrew should have been playing for them. Seriously it was like there was quick sand under him because I get this sinking feel every time the ball goes in his direction! However, as I see myself as a father figure to some of our more useless players (namely Andrew), I sent him to the corner for a timeout and in the end that decision saved us, as we went on to a great victory. No thanks to Andrew

Andrew’s POV: Despite my lingering back soreness, I was still able to pull it together this match. Our opponents didn’t have any chicks on their team, but we still made them look like a bunch of school girls. Having said that, maybe Trent should have been playing for them. Also maybe that hot chick from court 4 as well, since I’m totally a fan of the whole school girl costume thing. Hey I’m only human so don’t you be judging! But seriously with Trent it was like he was a black hole on the court because he really really sucks! And once the ball comes near him, it sure as sh*t never comes back. However as I see myself as a favourite son of the Chug Monkeys, I drew a line in the sand in my corner of the court, and in the end that decision saved us, as we went on to a great victory. No thanks to that Trent bastard!

Approximate Final Score: 55-28

Season Record: 27 Wins, 17 Loses

Inside the Chug Monkeys:
A glimpse of the future

This week, Dan ventured off to see a psychic to help him get a glimpse into the Chug Monkey’s finals hopes

Dan: So I should probably ask you the most important question first, the one which everyone is dyeing to her the answer to…

Psychic: Of course

Dan: When will I totally hook up with that hot chick from court 4?

Psychic: Sorry buddy miracles aren’t my department. You’re better off asking Leanne. She wouldn’t tell you the truth but she’ll definitely tell you the answer you want to hear.
Dan: Well it looks like its back to RSVP for me. Actually so I know everything you’re saying isn’t BS, please tell me something about my past.

Psychic: Well I’ve had a vision of you getting hit in the head with a brick at speed dating.
Dan: Wow! You really saw that?

Psychic: Yeah on utube.
Dan: (groans) Well this is truly money well spent. So tell me about my teams finals chances.

Psychic: I’m receiving feelings of pain, suffering and humiliation. No wait that’s the ratings of the next season of Australian Idol I’m thinking about. But seriously you guys are screwed.

Dan: What if I rostered all the crap players off?

Psychic: Then you guys wouldn’t have a team and you wouldn’t have a life!

Dan: That’s bullsh*t! I do have a life. I’ve totally got the phat party lined up next week.

Psychic: You mean your Mum’s 60th? By the way steer clear of the crab bisque.

Dan: Technically that’s still a party in my book, much like funerals are really. But now it’s time for some good news. With that hussy from court 4 off the cards, what else is on the menu with the ladies?

Psychic: I’m getting a vision off a hot brunette.

Dan: Awesome!

Psychic: No not for you! I meant on America’s top model on tv right now behind you.

Dan: (sighs) Anything else?

Psychic: But of course. I see a mysterious tall blonde.

Dan: Sweet! Tell me more.

Psychic: Well that tall blonde is the angry buff boyfriend of this chick you attempt to hit on during the end of season pub crawl. He beats you up.

Dan: Don’t my team mates come to my rescue like I do for them every Tuesday night on my beach??

Psychic: No! They’re either too drunk or they just plain don’t like you.

Dan: Don’t like me???? Now I know for sure you are totally full of sh*t!

(Dan proceeds to splash a cup of piping hot coffee in the Psychic’s face and run out of the building)
(Dan then sticks his head out of his car window whilst speeding off)

Dan: Hey if you were any f*cking good at your job you would have seen that coming you jerk!! Dan splash! Dan splash! Dan splash!

Fin