This weeks events in Chug Monkey Land:
Game Recap:
With the return of ‘The Dan’ came a sense of hope and purpose to the Chug Monkey squad. His inspired words such as “don’t c*ck this up!” served to sooth and calm the minds of his troubled and largely untalented band of hooligan teammates. Then rising up from last weeks ashes like the Phoenix rising up from Arizona, the Mighty Chug Monkeys hammered nail after nail into their opposition’s coffins followed by several lengthy tap dancing routines on their opponent’s graves. Thanks to Dan for his talents and a pity clap to everyone else for making up the numbers.
Final Score: Chug Monkey: 69 Opponent: 7
Chug-a-lug!
Season record:
Wins 2 Loses 4
Wins 2 Loses 4
This Weeks Official Chug Monkey: Donkey Kong (good guess)
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
Best known for his aggressive demeanor on the court and his delectable choc chip muffins off the court, this week Chug Monkey Trent joins us for “Inside the Chug Monkeys”.
Best known for his aggressive demeanor on the court and his delectable choc chip muffins off the court, this week Chug Monkey Trent joins us for “Inside the Chug Monkeys”.
Dan: Now Trent, is it true you once mooned the opposition whilst on court?
Chug Monkey Trent: Lies! It was from inside my car after the match.
Dan: Ah yes the game is never quite over for you is it. Time and windex heals all wounds I guess.
Chug Monkey Trent: True, true.
Dan: So tell us more about your interests outside of the team.
Chug Monkey Trent: Well I have quite the figurine collection.
Dan: Really?
Chug Monkey Trent: Yes
Dan: Figurines? Really?
Chug Monkey Trent: Yes!
Dan: I see. Well you must be quite the demon with the ladies then
Chug Monkey Trent: Actually I’m married.
Dan: Really?
Chug Monkey Trent: Yes
Dan: Married? Really?
Chug Monkey Trent: Yes!
Dan: To a woman?
Chug Monkey Trent: Yes you d*ck!
Dan: Ok, good to clarify. So tell us more about Trent off the court
Chug Monkey Trent: Well I have several creative outlets
Dan: Wait, didn’t you want to call the team “spiderman”?!!
Chug Monkey Trent: (drops his head) Maybe
Dan: Back to volleyball and who’s your favourite teammate?
Chug Monkey Trent: I’d have to say my wife Leanne of course
Dan: Wait, you’re married?
Chug Monkey Trent: F*ck this!
(Trent Leaves)
And yet another one bites the dust. And before next weeks match, can everyone please remember the old saying, “if you can’t beat ‘em, then get the f*ck off my team!”
Luv Chug Monkey Dan XOX
5 comments:
Good work Dan! We can always rely on you for a quality, accurate and non bias review of our Tuesday games.
I have a good feeling about next week. I'm hoping we can get some good action shots happening.
I'm very pleased to see they have opened a pub in our honour and the staff are all wearing red to support our team. Maybe we can get discounted drinks there ...
p.s I told you chugg was spelt with 2 g's!
Chugg Monkey Dan
Excellent work so far on the blog. Your analysis of the Chugg Monkeys' games are appreciated and accurate.
One other point regarding last tuesday's events, I would like to add that the Chugg Monkey's (Chugg-a-lugg) played a second game where we lost valiently to a more experienced side. Historically, the Chugg Monkeys have consistently been destroyed by this team, often they have doubled the Chugg Monkeys' score. However, last Tuesday, with a few wins under our belt and the determination of Chugg Monkeys Dan, Dirk, Leanne, Trent, Gemma, Jase and Richard, the Chugg Monkeys' achieved the impossible by not allowing this team to double our score. With this, I would like to say to all the Chugg Monkeys out there, that we have improved dramatically compared to our first game and that going forward we can have the confidence that our hard work will result in more wins in the future.
Good work fellow Chugg Monkeys
Chugg Monkey Sean
Dear Chug Monkey Dan,
Fuck You!
Love Trent
Dear Chug Monkey Dan
Your blog is slop. Absolute slop.
I mean, seriously, you couldn't blog your way out of a paper bag.
Love
Anonymous
Dear anonymous,
stop being such a buck toothed skank and bending over for any biker with a condom and a motel key. Reveal your identiity like a man or stay off my beach!
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