More Monkey than you can Chug!

Game Recaps:


Game 1: Chug Monkeys versus Horizontal Folk Dance (that team of all guys and occasionally one rather masculine looking chick)

The early signs weren’t good as the Chug Monkeys played keep the ball off Dan and consequently found themselves down 0-15. Project Emma thought she’d assist the situation by arriving ‘fashionably late’ as she puts it. It was at this time that Chug Monkey Dan realized he’d forgotten to put on his lucky red shirt which he’d won 10 games in a row with. However the Chug Monkeys soon got their sh*t together thanks largely to the efforts of Jase, Dan and first gamer Project Bruce. The game ebbed and flowed with the Chug Monkeys finally building a small lead and protecting it until the end. It was at this point that Chug Monkey Dan relaised his team’s early game troubles had nothing to with his choice of shirt, it was just his team mates were playing a bit sh*t. However the quality efforts of Project Bruce on debut make him this weeks winner of ‘Chug Monkey Dan’s wingman of the week award’. Solid work Bruce, solid work. It really is getting harder to find quality wingman these days!



Game 2: Chug Monkeys versus Ring Ins (that friendly team that wears black)
Not much to say here really. The opposition fielded an undermanned (or should I say underdanned) team and within minutes the Chug Monkeys took control. The 2nd half was a snoozefest as the lead continue to balloon allowing Chug Monkey Sean to sneak in several naps on court. The Chug Monkeys won by around 50 odd points and then danced a merry jig to celebrate.



Season Record:
22 Wins
16 Loses

Inside the Chug Monkeys:

Time is of the essence

This week Chug Monkey Dan show us all he’s more than just a complete player on the beach as he takes the speed dating scene by storm. Below is a quick snap shot of what happened:

Speed Date 1:

Girl 01: So tell me about yourself?

Dan: How Dare you! Chug Monkey Dan needs no introduction!
(Dan proceeds to retrieve his ‘ball of pain’ volleyball from under his chair and ‘Dan slam’ it at Girl 01 from across the table, knocking her unconscious)

Speed Date 2:

Girl 02: So don’t you find this 5 minute speed dating thing all a bit rushed?

Dan: 5 minute dates, not at all. That totally gives me time for foreplay and maybe a cuddle after if I’m feeling generous. Wooooooooooooo!

(Girl 02 glares angrily at Dan)

Dan: Come on that sh*ts funny! Write it down before I forget it. It’s a keeper, it’s a keeper.

(Girl 02 glares angrily at Dan)

(Dan proceeds to again retrieve his ‘ball of pain’ volleyball from under his chair and ‘Dan slam’ it at Girl 02 from across the table, knocking her unconscious)

Speed Date 3:

Girl 03: So on Thursday nights I just love heading to the Alma or the Havlock with my friends Johno, Croftee, Tomo and Scotteee. Yeah they are such great friends, I mean they buy me all the drinks I want and put their hands on my hips when I dance in case in get cold. They say that’s the same reason they wear their polo shirt collars up.

Dan: You f*cking idiot they’re just trying to do you!

Girl 03: No they're just mates. Like I mean they are always looking out for me. Like they’re always saying every other guy I bring along or meet isn’t good enough for me.

(Dan proceeds to again retrieve his ‘ball of pain’ volleyball from under his chair and ‘Dan slam’ it at Girl 03 from across the table, knocking her unconscious)

Dan: But she still gets a tick on my score card.

Speed Date 4:

Girl 04: Hey where are all the other guys tonight?

Dan: I totally got that Fat Chick from court 3 to wait outside and say she was the only Chick to turn up. Its funny I’ve never actually seen smoke coming off a guys sneakers when he runs before. Its most cartoon like. But don’t worry; there’s more Dan than you can chug to go around!


(Girl 04 proceeds to retrieve a brick from under her chair and hurl it at Dan’s head, knocking him semi-unconscious)

Semi Conscious Dan: She initiated physical contact, that means she’s totally hitting on me!

Wingman Bruce: Sorry I’m late Dan, there was a lot of traffic with all those guys fleeing on foot from our friend from court 3.

Semi Conscious Dan: Worst Wingman ever! Give me back that award trophy!

(Dan proceeds to take back the ‘Chug Monkey Dan’s wingman of the week award’ trophy, which shows a quality wingman pretending to be interested in some mediocre looking chick’s conversation while Dan totally chats up her much hotter friend (that’s what quality wingmanship is all about!))


(Dan proceeds to throw the trophy at Wingman Bruce’s head)

(Both proceed to pass out due to the injuries sustained to their heads)

(Project Emma then arrives ‘fashionably late’ and walks into the entrance of the speed dating to see both Chug Monkey Dan and Wing Man Bruce passed out on the floor together)

Project Emma: I didn’t realize it was gay night.