Remember the Chug Monkeys

Game Recaps:

This week the Danless/Talentless Scrub Monkeys put down their crack pipes and beer bongs for an hour and attempted to imitate a volleyball team.Below is a recap based on the ramblings of project Emma:

Game1:
The Scrub Monkeys completely sucked, but luckily the opposition sucked that little bit more. The Scrub Monkeys proved victorious, with an 18 point win. Good enough I say. Then again, the opposition were apparently so bad that they kicked sand in their own faces (and aren’t you glad I left that joke out of last weeks top 11 list!)

Game 2:

Sadly the opposition had a clue this time and sent the Scrub Monkeys back to their crack den with much to ponder. Apparently Sean helped the team retain some respectability. Sadly though I’ve meant Sean on several occasions and don’t see how that’s possible.Despite the horrendous score line, Emma continued to protest that had more teammates followed her ‘ostrich’ tactics then things may have turned out differently. Correct Emma, they would have banned us from playing ever again.

Just a reminder that Chug Monkey Dan is still waiting for his thank you cards from everyone for the privilege of stepping on his sacred sand. You have 24 hours.

Season Record:

17 wins
15 Loses

Inside the Chug Monkeys: The Intervention

This week Chug Monkey Dan catches up with his team mates in the most unusual of circumstances.

(Dan enters his front door to see his living room is full of his team mates)

Dan: Whats all this? Why is everyone here?

Trent: Now Dan we want you to know that this is a safe place, a happy place.

Dan: I want answers!

Trent: We thought it was time we got everyone together and staged an intervention for your anger problem.

Dan: Anger problem? That’s F*CKING BULLSH*T! Give me three examples.

Leanne: Well just then when you walked in the room. I heard you mutter under your breath “what is this, a d*ckhead convention?”.

Dan: That’s text book Chug Monkey Dan!

Gemma: And 2nd was that time you slammed the ball at poor Sean below the equator. He was on your team!

(Sean slowly creeps forward in his wheel chair)

Sean: The doctor says I can’t have kids anymore.

Dan: In that case I did you all a favour!

Leanne: And there we have number three.

Dan: In all honesty I think its great that you all came here in my honour, but where’s that hot chick from court 4?

Jace: There’s that little thing called a restraining order!

Dan: I thought the fact I was now forbidden fruit so to speak would have worked in my favour.

Trent: Pin Head! Now the first step to rehabilitation is to admit you have a problem.

Dan: A problem? I’m quite positive I have many more than just one.

Trent: This is good, this is healthy. Please tell us.

Dan: Alright, well I guess my biggest problems…

(Dan pauses due to the intense emotion)

(His team mates gather close ready to embrace Dan in a group hug as it suddenly appears he has a heart and soul after all)

Dan:…my biggest problems are Trent, Leanne, Gemma, Shane, Sean,

(Dan gets cut off)

Trent: You’re unbelievable!

Dan: Thanks, that’s totally how I would describe myself. Are we tapping the keg yet?

(Everyone leaves)

Dan: Trent was right, this is a happy place.