My Name is Dan

Recently Chug monkey Dan begun a half assed attempt to undo some of the wrongs he has done this season. So this week Chug Monkey Dan thought he would give his team mates some much needed game time by scheduling himself off. Furthermore he decided he would prepare a post game feast for his team mates. By doing this Chug Monkey had no doubt some good karma would be heading his way. In his absence this is how things turned out:


Game 1: Scrub Monkeys versus Sand Pitt

With Sand Pitt being the worst team in the league, one would expect the Scrub monkeys to cruise to an easy and moral boosting win. Turns out they won 35-23, but did I mention they played the worst team in the league...


Game 2: Scrub Monkeys versus Link/Battlefield (the team with that really short chick and the bearded dude)

The Scrub Monkeys showed plenty of Scrub Monkey spirit to only lose by…..well who gives a f*ck they f*cking lost! Final score: 28-31. Way to serve losers! Further more they totally piked on Chug Monkey Dan’s post game feast. Chug Monkey Dan slumped into bed only to be haunted in his sleep by a nightmare playing over and over. It sounded a bit like:

(The sound of the ball crashing into the net on a serve “that’s ok I get one per game”)
(The sound of the ball again crashing into the net on a serve “that’s ok you get one per game”)
(The sound of the ball again crashing into the net on a serve “that’s ok you get one per game”)


Now imagine that 25 more times and you not only have Dan’s nightmare but a perfect recap of how the Scrub Monkeys played. Chug Monkey Dan awoke from is slumber and with “that’s ok I get one per game” still echoing in his head, he texted those responsible saying “You don’t get one per game, the only thing you can get is the f*ck off my beach!”. Not bad for 3am. Chug Monkey Dan then decided that being nice and thinking about Karma had done his team no good at all and therefore they have no right to complain when he reverts back to being a total asshole next week.

Season Record:
23 Wins
17 Loses

Other news:
Fix up your f*cking serving!

Inside the Chug Monkeys:
The Chug Monkey Dan reality series

Following on from his speed dating experiment last week, this week Chug Monkey Dan takes ‘Inside the Chug Monkeys’ to strange new places. So this week Chug Monkey Dan experiments with online dating at RSVP by advertising himself as a limited time offer and promising one lucky lady a visit to his sacred beach. So for the next 2 weeks we will monitor his progress. As usual Chug Monkey Dan will be letting the ladies come to him, but hopefully this time they won’t be carrying mace.

So please visit rsvp.com.au and run a search for ChugMonkeyDan25. No doubt you won’t be the only one having a peak.

Not that a smooth operator like Chug Monkey Dan needs your advise, but if you do feel compelled to offer any then why not leave a comment on the blog. Just keep in mind that free advise if worth exactly what you pay for it…which is also what Chug Monkey Dan thinks the Scrub Monkeys are worth….jack sh*t!

Please keep in mind this is not a serious attempted at online dating (although there is a profile to visit). It is simply a piece of blog related humour. I have to post these kinds of disclaimers because half of you morons keep thinking this blog is actually for real, what pin heads!