Game Recaps:
Game 1:
The Chug Monkeys decided to serve up a surprise for Chug Monkey Dan this week. And what I mean quite literally is they served the ball consistently into the net, time and time again. Chug Monkey Dan was left wondering how they were meant to defeat the opposition when a stationary object like the centre net appeared to be their biggest hurdle. However the Chug Monkeys some how managed to build a small lead and maintain it for the entire match. At least no one abused the ref this time.
Game 2:
The Chug Monkeys were up against ‘the horizontal folk dance team’ in game 2. For our readers that don’t remember, this is the team that has a name full of innuendo, but it’s an all male team in what’s meant to be a mixed gender league. Horizontal folk dance built an early lead before they were distracted by thoughts of their post match team shower and dropped their concentration and possibly the soap as well. The Chug Monkeys went on to crush this skid mark of a volleyball team by a comfortable margin. Actually they did have a chick on their team this week, but even she was kind of masculine looking. What do you think about that Fat Chick from Court 3?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Right on! Now for the first time ever, the Chug Monkeys actually have a winning season record!
Season Record:
16 Wins
14 Loses
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
As a McDonalds Drive through attendant turned down Chug Monkey Dan for an interview during his trip for a post match burger, this week we have something different in store. Now I’m sure there is a portion our male readers known as the ‘loser segment’ who will attempt to cut and paste the bit below and claim it as their own in various emails. Just be aware if you do, no matter who’s team you’re on at practice… a volleyball will be coming hard and fast at your head and/or crotch sometime soon. For the rest of you please enjoy…
The Top Eleven Signs Your Indoor Beach Volleyball team Sucks!
11. Standard team formation is a conga line
10. Spiking and scoring only occurs at post match drinks
9. Half the team is just there to work on their tan
8. Only team to record 10 losses, 3 wins and 2 drownings
7. Your best play is to yell "Shark" after you serve
6. Last weeks' opponents doubled your score, but in your defence they were one of the more upmarket retirement villages
5. You're down 20 at halftime but confident you'll score much better in the swimsuit section
4. It's nothing like that Bay Watch fantasy you had pre-season
3. Your Goalie always turns up late
2. Lead the league in games forfitted through Sing Star commitments
1. The most prominent words in your club song: "Baby got back"
(Credit to Neil for 10,9,6,4,3,1)
Friday, June 29, 2007
Chugly
Game Recaps:
With the week off, Chug Monkey Dan waited a patiently by the phone for word on the nights results. What follows is a reenactment of the telephone call he received from Chug Monkey Moose that night (some bits may be slightly dramatized)
Moose: Hey Dan, we lost our first game but everyone showed heaps of Chug Monkey spirit! Wooooo! I’m an overly optimistic bubble head! Wooooooo! And we won the 2nd game. You’re not mad about the team losing are you?
Chug Monkey Dan: Not at all, that’s cool, that’s cool. Goodnight (hangs up phone). YOU F*CKED MY WINNING STREAK YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH!
Moose: Ah Dan I can still hear you, your phone didn’t hang up properly.
Chug Monkey Dan: Oh my goodness I sincerely apologi… YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH!
Moose: Wooooooo!
Yeah it went something like that.
Season record:
14 wins
14 loses
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
With no one left by his side, this week Chug Monkey Dan turns to God for answers.
Dan: Hello God, first up I’d just like to say good work on that Jessica Alba!
Chug Monkey God: A’men to that!
Dan: But what the hell were you thinking with Karein Grant??
God: You’re right, I f*cked up!
Dan: Its funny how our readers cant hear what kind of accent you have. But moving on and I suppose I should say thanks.
God: What for?
Dan: I’m always told on my beach that I have ‘God given talent’.
God: You should hear what they say when you’re not around.
Dan: I’m sure it’s safe to assume its all good. So since I managed to get this interview, I think I should take the time to ask you a question that has baffled mankind for ages.
God: The meaning of life?
Dan: God no! What I’m talking about is the time I was just about to talk to that hot chick from court 4 and just as she turned to face me a bird crapped on me. It’s an indoor arena, how is that even possible??
God: When channel 7 puts scrubs and Family guy on at such late timeslots that I need to find someway to amuse myself before hand.
Dan: That’s ok, I was on the verge a panic induced vomiting attack anyway. Next up, I have another serious question.
God: Lets hope so.
Dan: So when I don’t get Christmas presents should I blame you, my parents or Santa?
God: You pinhead! It’s meant to be a time of giving.
Dan: In other words you’re all equally to blame.
God: Are we done here, I do have that Middle East situation to deal with.
Dan: Alright just a couple more things to wrap things up. Back to a previous topic I just wanted to say thanks for getting Karein Grant off national TV.
God: No need to thank me, she sucks all by herself.
Dan: And finally, when do you think the Chug Monkeys will be holding the premiership cup aloft?
God: God only knows, Chug-a-lug!
Dan: Not funny!
Remember readers every time the Chug Monkeys are defeated, God kills a kitten. So maybe think about that next time you dont feel like diving for the ball you heartless monsters!
With the week off, Chug Monkey Dan waited a patiently by the phone for word on the nights results. What follows is a reenactment of the telephone call he received from Chug Monkey Moose that night (some bits may be slightly dramatized)
Moose: Hey Dan, we lost our first game but everyone showed heaps of Chug Monkey spirit! Wooooo! I’m an overly optimistic bubble head! Wooooooo! And we won the 2nd game. You’re not mad about the team losing are you?
Chug Monkey Dan: Not at all, that’s cool, that’s cool. Goodnight (hangs up phone). YOU F*CKED MY WINNING STREAK YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH!
Moose: Ah Dan I can still hear you, your phone didn’t hang up properly.
Chug Monkey Dan: Oh my goodness I sincerely apologi… YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH! YOU B*TCH!
Moose: Wooooooo!
Yeah it went something like that.
Season record:
14 wins
14 loses
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
With no one left by his side, this week Chug Monkey Dan turns to God for answers.
Dan: Hello God, first up I’d just like to say good work on that Jessica Alba!
Chug Monkey God: A’men to that!
Dan: But what the hell were you thinking with Karein Grant??
God: You’re right, I f*cked up!
Dan: Its funny how our readers cant hear what kind of accent you have. But moving on and I suppose I should say thanks.
God: What for?
Dan: I’m always told on my beach that I have ‘God given talent’.
God: You should hear what they say when you’re not around.
Dan: I’m sure it’s safe to assume its all good. So since I managed to get this interview, I think I should take the time to ask you a question that has baffled mankind for ages.
God: The meaning of life?
Dan: God no! What I’m talking about is the time I was just about to talk to that hot chick from court 4 and just as she turned to face me a bird crapped on me. It’s an indoor arena, how is that even possible??
God: When channel 7 puts scrubs and Family guy on at such late timeslots that I need to find someway to amuse myself before hand.
Dan: That’s ok, I was on the verge a panic induced vomiting attack anyway. Next up, I have another serious question.
God: Lets hope so.
Dan: So when I don’t get Christmas presents should I blame you, my parents or Santa?
God: You pinhead! It’s meant to be a time of giving.
Dan: In other words you’re all equally to blame.
God: Are we done here, I do have that Middle East situation to deal with.
Dan: Alright just a couple more things to wrap things up. Back to a previous topic I just wanted to say thanks for getting Karein Grant off national TV.
God: No need to thank me, she sucks all by herself.
Dan: And finally, when do you think the Chug Monkeys will be holding the premiership cup aloft?
God: God only knows, Chug-a-lug!
Dan: Not funny!
Remember readers every time the Chug Monkeys are defeated, God kills a kitten. So maybe think about that next time you dont feel like diving for the ball you heartless monsters!
Chugtastic!
Game Recaps:
The Chug monkeys continued their recent fine form with a game 1 victory. However the real fireworks occurred in game 2, where an opposition player who came to be known as ‘that fat chick from court 3’ stole the spot light.
In game 2 the Chug Monkeys burst out of the blocks with 7-0 start. That was before we lost 16 straight points and panic was about to grip Team Chug Monkey. However a barrage of text book Chug Monkey Dan death threats light a fire under his team mate’s asses, and a comeback began. However a certain chubby bogan from across the net was less than impressed when the Chug Monkeys won back the lead. ‘That fat chick from court 3’ soon began to argue and then abuse the referee. The Chug monkeys pulled up a chair and enjoyed the show, whilst kicking fatty’s ass Chug Monkey style on the scoreboard. Even though the Chug Monkeys eventually ran out easy winners, ‘that fat chick from court 3’ continued to argue with the umpire after the match before waddling over to complain to centre management. The lesson here is clearly that if she had directed her abuse at your teammates as a certain Chug Monkey Dan did, then maybe the losing margin would have been as tight the elastic on her shorts and not as wide as her rather large rump. Double victory for the Chug Monkeys, and a double chin for ‘That fat chick from court 3!
Season Record:
13 Wins
13 Loses
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
Out of options and out of time, this week Chug Monkey Dan had no option but to interview the one person who couldn’t seem to keep their mouth shut on his beach this week.
Dan: Well this is awkward, what do you have to say for yourself after Tuesday nights display?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Sorry you voice was muffled by that chicken wing on the side of your mouth. What was that?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: So tell us about the Fat Chick from Court 3 off the court?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Are you capable of saying anything else?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: I see. Lets try and find some common ground here. What would you say about if Leanne asked you to describe her efforts last week?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Couldn’t agree more! And how would you describe Sean’s recent form in one sentence?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Bingo! Wow this interview writes itself. Ok I have one last question for yo……
(That Fat Chick from Court 3 begins chasing an ambulance after confusing the siren with the Mr Whippy music)
Dan: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Thanks for reading and please direct any complaints to That Fat Chick from Court 3’s email address: i_am_a_annoying_loud_bogan@hotmail.com
The Chug monkeys continued their recent fine form with a game 1 victory. However the real fireworks occurred in game 2, where an opposition player who came to be known as ‘that fat chick from court 3’ stole the spot light.
In game 2 the Chug Monkeys burst out of the blocks with 7-0 start. That was before we lost 16 straight points and panic was about to grip Team Chug Monkey. However a barrage of text book Chug Monkey Dan death threats light a fire under his team mate’s asses, and a comeback began. However a certain chubby bogan from across the net was less than impressed when the Chug Monkeys won back the lead. ‘That fat chick from court 3’ soon began to argue and then abuse the referee. The Chug monkeys pulled up a chair and enjoyed the show, whilst kicking fatty’s ass Chug Monkey style on the scoreboard. Even though the Chug Monkeys eventually ran out easy winners, ‘that fat chick from court 3’ continued to argue with the umpire after the match before waddling over to complain to centre management. The lesson here is clearly that if she had directed her abuse at your teammates as a certain Chug Monkey Dan did, then maybe the losing margin would have been as tight the elastic on her shorts and not as wide as her rather large rump. Double victory for the Chug Monkeys, and a double chin for ‘That fat chick from court 3!
Season Record:
13 Wins
13 Loses
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
Out of options and out of time, this week Chug Monkey Dan had no option but to interview the one person who couldn’t seem to keep their mouth shut on his beach this week.
Dan: Well this is awkward, what do you have to say for yourself after Tuesday nights display?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Sorry you voice was muffled by that chicken wing on the side of your mouth. What was that?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: So tell us about the Fat Chick from Court 3 off the court?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Are you capable of saying anything else?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: I see. Lets try and find some common ground here. What would you say about if Leanne asked you to describe her efforts last week?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Couldn’t agree more! And how would you describe Sean’s recent form in one sentence?
That Fat Chick from Court 3: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Dan: Bingo! Wow this interview writes itself. Ok I have one last question for yo……
(That Fat Chick from Court 3 begins chasing an ambulance after confusing the siren with the Mr Whippy music)
Dan: This is F*cking Bull shit!
Thanks for reading and please direct any complaints to That Fat Chick from Court 3’s email address: i_am_a_annoying_loud_bogan@hotmail.com
Friday, June 8, 2007
Daniel and the Chugmunks
Game Recaps:
With his week off from volleyball, Chug Monkey Dan was on his way to do volunteer work for sick Orphans, before Chug Monkey Moose (Leanne) called and demanded that he fill in for herself and Trent because they “simply couldn’t be assed playing” (her words, not mine). Leanne’s controversial scheduling appeared to throw the team into further chaos, with only 3 Chug Monkeys on court at the beginning of the game. With the talent level of those players still to arrive being describe by Chug Monkey Moose as “3 degrees below absolute zero” (again her words, not mine), it appeared all hope was lost. However what was to unfold turned out to be one of the greatest moments to date in the Chug Monkeys short history.
Game 1:
After the Chug Monkey’s loyal dregs finally showed up, Chug Monkey Dan took the reins of the Chug Monkey Bandwagon and everyone hopped on board for the wild ride. The Chug Monkeys surged to an early lead and ended up with comfortable double figure win.
Game 2:
The Chug Monkeys of old were back in game 2, as they again surged to an early lead agains the ‘ring ins’ before the always traditional 2nd half collapse. However some sweet serving from Project Gemma helped lead a resurgent Chug Monkey outfit, which went on to achieve back to back victories in one night for only the third time. Project Gemma received a bruised foot from Chug Monkey Dan as a sign of his gratitude.
That’ll do monkeys, that’ll do.
Season Record:
11 Wins
13 Loses
Upcoming Events:
With their double victory this week, the Chug Monkeys moved one win away from the magical 12 wins. For those of you that haven’t been reading previous weeks, first of all “go f*ck yourselves” (Leanne’s words, not mine), 12 wins means that the mid season pub crawl may commence. Please keep in mind that due to time constraints the planning will likely be hap hazard, so the success will be reliant on the amount of importune craziness on the night. Which when you think about it, truly captures the Chug Monkey spirit! Details to be advised as soon as we get that 12th win. “Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” (pure Chug Monkey Dan that one).
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
After failing his recent anger management course, this week we’ve gone to extreme lengths to put out the competitive fire that has engulfed Chug Monkey Dan lately. So whilst on tour around Australia, a special guest has dropped by…
Dalai Lama: Now Chug Monkey Dan, we must attempt to address your feelings of anger and resentment through guided meditation.
Dan: Even towards Project Gemma?
Dalai Lama: Yes even towards ‘mission impossible’. And I heard about that bruised foot.
Dan: Yeah thanks to her I didn’t stick my landing! One judge only gave me a 7.
Dalai Lama: Let’s start today’s session with you remembering a time when you were truly happy.
Dan: Does bruising Gemma’s foot count?
Dalai Lama: No!
Dan: Ok then let’s look no further than Chug Monkey’s first win.
Dalai Lama: I think you’ll find that was more a feeling of elation than true happiness
Dan: Actually it was like a feeling of relief. We were up by 15 and only won by 3. Those losers on my beach came as close as humanly possible to cocking that up!
Dalai Lama: You must develop patience towards others. I’m sure if you meditated on it, you will see they’re not all bad
Dan: You’ve seen them play right?!
Dalai Lama: I see your point. Perhaps chanting a simple mantra over and over will help to bring some tranquility to your troubled soul.
Dan: I do that already, and I let my team mates listen as well.
Dalai Lama: Yelling “you’re less than nothing!” and your team mates repeatedly does not count.
Dan: Leanne’s words, not mine.
Dalai Lama: Chug monkey Dan, I am quite serious when I say if you devote yourself to following the middle path you may potentially cleanse you poisoned mind of all its ignorance and replace it with a peace and happiness which would be ever lasting, no matter your team mates perform on your beach.
Dan: Wow! And you can teach me this?
Dalai Lama: Yes
Dan: Well then lets get star…oh wait my season 5 of Scubs dvd set just arrived. Seriously I just have to watch each episode 3-4 times in English and then once in every other language available and then I’ll think about getting started. Whooooooooo! Scrubs! Whoooooooooooooooooo!
(Dalai Lama flys off)
You’ve read, you can’t unread it! Peace and Tranquility you say? Give me a mid-season Chug Monkey pub crawl any day instead! Whoooooooooooooooooooooo! (Leanne’s words, not mine)
With his week off from volleyball, Chug Monkey Dan was on his way to do volunteer work for sick Orphans, before Chug Monkey Moose (Leanne) called and demanded that he fill in for herself and Trent because they “simply couldn’t be assed playing” (her words, not mine). Leanne’s controversial scheduling appeared to throw the team into further chaos, with only 3 Chug Monkeys on court at the beginning of the game. With the talent level of those players still to arrive being describe by Chug Monkey Moose as “3 degrees below absolute zero” (again her words, not mine), it appeared all hope was lost. However what was to unfold turned out to be one of the greatest moments to date in the Chug Monkeys short history.
Game 1:
After the Chug Monkey’s loyal dregs finally showed up, Chug Monkey Dan took the reins of the Chug Monkey Bandwagon and everyone hopped on board for the wild ride. The Chug Monkeys surged to an early lead and ended up with comfortable double figure win.
Game 2:
The Chug Monkeys of old were back in game 2, as they again surged to an early lead agains the ‘ring ins’ before the always traditional 2nd half collapse. However some sweet serving from Project Gemma helped lead a resurgent Chug Monkey outfit, which went on to achieve back to back victories in one night for only the third time. Project Gemma received a bruised foot from Chug Monkey Dan as a sign of his gratitude.
That’ll do monkeys, that’ll do.
Season Record:
11 Wins
13 Loses
Upcoming Events:
With their double victory this week, the Chug Monkeys moved one win away from the magical 12 wins. For those of you that haven’t been reading previous weeks, first of all “go f*ck yourselves” (Leanne’s words, not mine), 12 wins means that the mid season pub crawl may commence. Please keep in mind that due to time constraints the planning will likely be hap hazard, so the success will be reliant on the amount of importune craziness on the night. Which when you think about it, truly captures the Chug Monkey spirit! Details to be advised as soon as we get that 12th win. “Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” (pure Chug Monkey Dan that one).
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
After failing his recent anger management course, this week we’ve gone to extreme lengths to put out the competitive fire that has engulfed Chug Monkey Dan lately. So whilst on tour around Australia, a special guest has dropped by…
Dalai Lama: Now Chug Monkey Dan, we must attempt to address your feelings of anger and resentment through guided meditation.
Dan: Even towards Project Gemma?
Dalai Lama: Yes even towards ‘mission impossible’. And I heard about that bruised foot.
Dan: Yeah thanks to her I didn’t stick my landing! One judge only gave me a 7.
Dalai Lama: Let’s start today’s session with you remembering a time when you were truly happy.
Dan: Does bruising Gemma’s foot count?
Dalai Lama: No!
Dan: Ok then let’s look no further than Chug Monkey’s first win.
Dalai Lama: I think you’ll find that was more a feeling of elation than true happiness
Dan: Actually it was like a feeling of relief. We were up by 15 and only won by 3. Those losers on my beach came as close as humanly possible to cocking that up!
Dalai Lama: You must develop patience towards others. I’m sure if you meditated on it, you will see they’re not all bad
Dan: You’ve seen them play right?!
Dalai Lama: I see your point. Perhaps chanting a simple mantra over and over will help to bring some tranquility to your troubled soul.
Dan: I do that already, and I let my team mates listen as well.
Dalai Lama: Yelling “you’re less than nothing!” and your team mates repeatedly does not count.
Dan: Leanne’s words, not mine.
Dalai Lama: Chug monkey Dan, I am quite serious when I say if you devote yourself to following the middle path you may potentially cleanse you poisoned mind of all its ignorance and replace it with a peace and happiness which would be ever lasting, no matter your team mates perform on your beach.
Dan: Wow! And you can teach me this?
Dalai Lama: Yes
Dan: Well then lets get star…oh wait my season 5 of Scubs dvd set just arrived. Seriously I just have to watch each episode 3-4 times in English and then once in every other language available and then I’ll think about getting started. Whooooooooo! Scrubs! Whoooooooooooooooooo!
(Dalai Lama flys off)
You’ve read, you can’t unread it! Peace and Tranquility you say? Give me a mid-season Chug Monkey pub crawl any day instead! Whoooooooooooooooooooooo! (Leanne’s words, not mine)
Friday, June 1, 2007
Chugzilla
***Warning******Warning******Warning******Warning******Warning***Hello ladies, many of you may have been directed to this blog by men other than the original author. If these particular men are doing this or are heard quoting this blog or other Chug Monkey Dan material in their own time without giving due credit to the blogs author, then such behaviour is simply evidence that they are in fact a complete loser. This warning has been issued for your own safety free of charge.
Much Love
Chug Monkey Dan
***********************************************************
Game Recaps:
Game 1:
Fresh from their spell in G Block, the Chug Monkeys played with flair and enthusiasm to record of their best victories to date. No wait, I was reading the score card back to front, so we actually lost. You losers suck!
Game 2:
The Chug Monkeys dished out a good old fashioned spanking to an opponent who didn’t seem to be aware that they in the midst of a volleyball match (seriously they got the ball back over the net in one of about every 20 serves). Either way no mercy was shown, with the Chug Monkeys winning by close to 60 points. Much better work losers!
Season Record:
Wins: 9
Loses: 13
Rumour Mill:
As the inaugural Chug Monkey season seems to have no end in sight, rumours have begun to circulate about a mid-season pub crawl. However as with everything, Chug Monkey Dan has specified that you chuckle heads need to earn that sh*t! Therefore the Chug Monkeys need to reach 12 wins before this monumental event can occur. Then its Chugging time people!
Inside the Chug Monkeys
After a string of recent walkouts etc, this week we have been left with no option but for Dan to interview himself. So get out your pen and paper, as the wisdom flows from Dan’s mouth much like his verbal abuse tends to do.
Dan: Now Chug Monkey Dan, after mixed results so far this season, what are your thoughts towards your team mates?
Chug Monkey Dan: I see them more as my entourage.
Dan: Naturally. Now I also hear you are a budding photographer. I’ve seen some of your work so far, its not bad, but I must ask, what’s stopping you from getting that truly great shot?
Chug Monkey Dan: Shower curtains mostly.
Dan: Ah yes the money shot. Quite the ladies man I see. On that note, your loyal fan base is dieing to know about a particular incident with a certain special lady from court 4.
Chug Monkey Dan: Oh yeah, we shared a moment there. Our eyes met across a crowded volleyball court, our team’s divided by the center net. Quite a Romeo and Juliet story really.
Dan: Good start! But how did you finish the job?
Chug Monkey Dan: I totally slammed this one shot at her! Full pelt, flat chat! No holding back!
Dan: Routine really. And then?
Chug Monkey Dan: Well she kinda got her face behind the ball. She was knocked out cold.
Dan: Not the first time you swept a lady off their feet I suspect. Tell us more about this sleeping beauty from court 4.
Chug Monkey Dan: Well usually I like to attempt a subtle waltz of seduction. However the situation called for a man of action. So naturally I volunteered my mouth to mouth resuscitation services.
Dan: Fined tuned after many nights at Mansion of course.
Chug Monkey Dan: You know it! Sadly after that some guy claiming to be her husband stepped in and about 20 minutes later she came to.
Dan: So how then did you close the deal? But be careful not to divulge all your trade secrets as you know what our readers are like.
Chug Monkey Dan: Just a taste then. You see I’ve always been an advocate of letting the ladies approach me first. And wouldn’t you know it, after the ambulance arrived she totally asked for my phone number! She may have mumbled something about passing it on to her lawyers, but it was hard to tell with all that blood she was coughing up.
Dan: Anything else?
Chug Monkey Dan: Hell yeah! She even talked about catching up later. Again it was hard to tell what was said exactly after they put the oxygen mask on her, but I’m sure I heard her say she wanted to something the pants off of me. Talk about a fire cracker, I’ve struck gold!
Dan: Indeed, I hope you were wearing goggles with those sparks flying everywhere. But honestly, can you really see yourself being tied down to just one lady at this point in your life?
Chug Monkey Dan: No sir. I mean the next time I saw that girl from court 4, her voice was far too nasal. It may have had something to do with the fact that my slam broke her nose, but why jump to conclusions. Her neck brace was also a major turn off!
Dan: I’m sure we’ve all learnt something today. Do have anything to say to your team mates before we wrap things up?
Chug Monkey Dan: Who?
Dan: Your entourage
Chug Monkey Dan: Yes I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom: William Goldman, the American author and screenwriter once said "LIFE isn't fair, it's just fairer than death, that's all, so train hard or stay the f*ck off my beach!"
Dan: Are you sure William Goldman said all that?
Chug Monkey Dan: Positive!
Thankyou all for reading. And remember, while Chug Monkey Dan appreciates fan mail, legal advice for his upcoming court battle is required slightly more urgently.
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