Game Recaps:
With his week off from volleyball, Chug Monkey Dan was on his way to do volunteer work for sick Orphans, before Chug Monkey Moose (Leanne) called and demanded that he fill in for herself and Trent because they “simply couldn’t be assed playing” (her words, not mine). Leanne’s controversial scheduling appeared to throw the team into further chaos, with only 3 Chug Monkeys on court at the beginning of the game. With the talent level of those players still to arrive being describe by Chug Monkey Moose as “3 degrees below absolute zero” (again her words, not mine), it appeared all hope was lost. However what was to unfold turned out to be one of the greatest moments to date in the Chug Monkeys short history.
Game 1:
After the Chug Monkey’s loyal dregs finally showed up, Chug Monkey Dan took the reins of the Chug Monkey Bandwagon and everyone hopped on board for the wild ride. The Chug Monkeys surged to an early lead and ended up with comfortable double figure win.
Game 2:
The Chug Monkeys of old were back in game 2, as they again surged to an early lead agains the ‘ring ins’ before the always traditional 2nd half collapse. However some sweet serving from Project Gemma helped lead a resurgent Chug Monkey outfit, which went on to achieve back to back victories in one night for only the third time. Project Gemma received a bruised foot from Chug Monkey Dan as a sign of his gratitude.
That’ll do monkeys, that’ll do.
Season Record:
11 Wins
13 Loses
Upcoming Events:
With their double victory this week, the Chug Monkeys moved one win away from the magical 12 wins. For those of you that haven’t been reading previous weeks, first of all “go f*ck yourselves” (Leanne’s words, not mine), 12 wins means that the mid season pub crawl may commence. Please keep in mind that due to time constraints the planning will likely be hap hazard, so the success will be reliant on the amount of importune craziness on the night. Which when you think about it, truly captures the Chug Monkey spirit! Details to be advised as soon as we get that 12th win. “Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” (pure Chug Monkey Dan that one).
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
After failing his recent anger management course, this week we’ve gone to extreme lengths to put out the competitive fire that has engulfed Chug Monkey Dan lately. So whilst on tour around Australia, a special guest has dropped by…
Dalai Lama: Now Chug Monkey Dan, we must attempt to address your feelings of anger and resentment through guided meditation.
Dan: Even towards Project Gemma?
Dalai Lama: Yes even towards ‘mission impossible’. And I heard about that bruised foot.
Dan: Yeah thanks to her I didn’t stick my landing! One judge only gave me a 7.
Dalai Lama: Let’s start today’s session with you remembering a time when you were truly happy.
Dan: Does bruising Gemma’s foot count?
Dalai Lama: No!
Dan: Ok then let’s look no further than Chug Monkey’s first win.
Dalai Lama: I think you’ll find that was more a feeling of elation than true happiness
Dan: Actually it was like a feeling of relief. We were up by 15 and only won by 3. Those losers on my beach came as close as humanly possible to cocking that up!
Dalai Lama: You must develop patience towards others. I’m sure if you meditated on it, you will see they’re not all bad
Dan: You’ve seen them play right?!
Dalai Lama: I see your point. Perhaps chanting a simple mantra over and over will help to bring some tranquility to your troubled soul.
Dan: I do that already, and I let my team mates listen as well.
Dalai Lama: Yelling “you’re less than nothing!” and your team mates repeatedly does not count.
Dan: Leanne’s words, not mine.
Dalai Lama: Chug monkey Dan, I am quite serious when I say if you devote yourself to following the middle path you may potentially cleanse you poisoned mind of all its ignorance and replace it with a peace and happiness which would be ever lasting, no matter your team mates perform on your beach.
Dan: Wow! And you can teach me this?
Dalai Lama: Yes
Dan: Well then lets get star…oh wait my season 5 of Scubs dvd set just arrived. Seriously I just have to watch each episode 3-4 times in English and then once in every other language available and then I’ll think about getting started. Whooooooooo! Scrubs! Whoooooooooooooooooo!
(Dalai Lama flys off)
You’ve read, you can’t unread it! Peace and Tranquility you say? Give me a mid-season Chug Monkey pub crawl any day instead! Whoooooooooooooooooooooo! (Leanne’s words, not mine)
With his week off from volleyball, Chug Monkey Dan was on his way to do volunteer work for sick Orphans, before Chug Monkey Moose (Leanne) called and demanded that he fill in for herself and Trent because they “simply couldn’t be assed playing” (her words, not mine). Leanne’s controversial scheduling appeared to throw the team into further chaos, with only 3 Chug Monkeys on court at the beginning of the game. With the talent level of those players still to arrive being describe by Chug Monkey Moose as “3 degrees below absolute zero” (again her words, not mine), it appeared all hope was lost. However what was to unfold turned out to be one of the greatest moments to date in the Chug Monkeys short history.
Game 1:
After the Chug Monkey’s loyal dregs finally showed up, Chug Monkey Dan took the reins of the Chug Monkey Bandwagon and everyone hopped on board for the wild ride. The Chug Monkeys surged to an early lead and ended up with comfortable double figure win.
Game 2:
The Chug Monkeys of old were back in game 2, as they again surged to an early lead agains the ‘ring ins’ before the always traditional 2nd half collapse. However some sweet serving from Project Gemma helped lead a resurgent Chug Monkey outfit, which went on to achieve back to back victories in one night for only the third time. Project Gemma received a bruised foot from Chug Monkey Dan as a sign of his gratitude.
That’ll do monkeys, that’ll do.
Season Record:
11 Wins
13 Loses
Upcoming Events:
With their double victory this week, the Chug Monkeys moved one win away from the magical 12 wins. For those of you that haven’t been reading previous weeks, first of all “go f*ck yourselves” (Leanne’s words, not mine), 12 wins means that the mid season pub crawl may commence. Please keep in mind that due to time constraints the planning will likely be hap hazard, so the success will be reliant on the amount of importune craziness on the night. Which when you think about it, truly captures the Chug Monkey spirit! Details to be advised as soon as we get that 12th win. “Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” (pure Chug Monkey Dan that one).
Inside the Chug Monkeys:
After failing his recent anger management course, this week we’ve gone to extreme lengths to put out the competitive fire that has engulfed Chug Monkey Dan lately. So whilst on tour around Australia, a special guest has dropped by…
Dalai Lama: Now Chug Monkey Dan, we must attempt to address your feelings of anger and resentment through guided meditation.
Dan: Even towards Project Gemma?
Dalai Lama: Yes even towards ‘mission impossible’. And I heard about that bruised foot.
Dan: Yeah thanks to her I didn’t stick my landing! One judge only gave me a 7.
Dalai Lama: Let’s start today’s session with you remembering a time when you were truly happy.
Dan: Does bruising Gemma’s foot count?
Dalai Lama: No!
Dan: Ok then let’s look no further than Chug Monkey’s first win.
Dalai Lama: I think you’ll find that was more a feeling of elation than true happiness
Dan: Actually it was like a feeling of relief. We were up by 15 and only won by 3. Those losers on my beach came as close as humanly possible to cocking that up!
Dalai Lama: You must develop patience towards others. I’m sure if you meditated on it, you will see they’re not all bad
Dan: You’ve seen them play right?!
Dalai Lama: I see your point. Perhaps chanting a simple mantra over and over will help to bring some tranquility to your troubled soul.
Dan: I do that already, and I let my team mates listen as well.
Dalai Lama: Yelling “you’re less than nothing!” and your team mates repeatedly does not count.
Dan: Leanne’s words, not mine.
Dalai Lama: Chug monkey Dan, I am quite serious when I say if you devote yourself to following the middle path you may potentially cleanse you poisoned mind of all its ignorance and replace it with a peace and happiness which would be ever lasting, no matter your team mates perform on your beach.
Dan: Wow! And you can teach me this?
Dalai Lama: Yes
Dan: Well then lets get star…oh wait my season 5 of Scubs dvd set just arrived. Seriously I just have to watch each episode 3-4 times in English and then once in every other language available and then I’ll think about getting started. Whooooooooo! Scrubs! Whoooooooooooooooooo!
(Dalai Lama flys off)
You’ve read, you can’t unread it! Peace and Tranquility you say? Give me a mid-season Chug Monkey pub crawl any day instead! Whoooooooooooooooooooooo! (Leanne’s words, not mine)
No comments:
Post a Comment